Posts tagged ‘obstacles’

February 18, 2012

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear  is that I will forever be reading about and dreaming about what I want to do, and never actually do it.

What I want:

A job doing something I am really interested in, that doesn’t involve dealing with the general public, and that pays a good salary (at least better than what I make now, and with at least the remote possibility of future raises). Ideally, this job would be located in Europe. I’d especially love Edinburgh, Amsterdam, Prague, or just about anywhere in Germany. While we’re reaching for the stars, I’d also like to be debt-free and a home owner.


1. I’m still learning about the subject in which I am interested. The thing I’d love to do as a living (thus this blog). And I have no idea how to gain the experience that will almost assuredly be required for getting full-time employment in a new field.

2. My husband and I are living above our means. This is a constant source of stress for us. It means that I really should be spending all my extra time trying to make a little extra money, rather than spending it trying to learn a new skill set. It also means that I have no money for things like membership in professional organizations or conference attendance, or workshops, let alone going back to school.

3. My husband is launching his own company, which at least for the moment, means no moving away. It also means no launching my own company, or being an independent contractor, because then we’d have no insurance and no guaranteed salary.

4. I’m pregnant, so no one in their right mind would hire me right now anyway, as they’d just have to turn around and send me on maternity leave. And yes, I know it would be illegal not to hire me just because I was pregnant, but no one’s going to tell me that a company with deadlines to meet isn’t going to do their darndest to find a good excuse not to hire the pregnant lady.

5. I have no idea how to find a job in Europe, and I’m not fluent in any foreign languages (though I do have solid linguistic skills).

Why these shouldn’t be obstacles:

1. What with the pregnancy and the husband launching a company, I really shouldn’t be in any hurry to find a new job in my (hopefully) new field anyway. I have time. I need to think in terms of a 5-year plan, not a 5-month plan.

2. OK, I don’t know about this one. I think this is an obstacle no matter how I look at it. What I need is a solution I can convince my husband of. Like moving into a smaller, less expensive home. But that is a subject for a whole other blog, not this one.

3. My husband’s company is internet-based, and so where we live really has no impact on it. I would just feel guilty for uprooting him while he’s just getting started, but again, think 5-years, not 5-months.

4. Ditto, again the 5-years thing.

5. This one’s tougher. I’m sure I can figure out the finding a job part. After all I’m a librarian, if I can’t do this kind of research, what good am I? The bigger problem is the language. I can’t expect a foreign company to hire me if I’m not fluent, but I also want to keep an open mind about where we end up, and focusing on one language might be limiting.

OK, so 3 out of 5 of my obstacles are either surmountable or not really obstacles at all. The other two I can figure out. Funny how getting it all down on paper (so to speak) helps.

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